Pastel Reds and Pornstar Wines
by Ellie Slaughter
Summary: The red 'EMERGENCY' sign dimmed and flickered off. My heart sank, awaiting for a response on the patient in the room. Then the double doors opened and four nurses came out along with a withdrawn looking Carlisle. My heart crumbled.


Author's Note: So, hey! I'm new to this fandom and this is my first story in this particular fandom. So if it's not up to par, I'm sorry. :) I'm not perfect. I accept any kind of criticism. By the way, the title has nothing to do with the story, but the quotes always will. Last, but not least, enjoy.

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Pastel Reds and Pornstar Wines

"And if there's a God then I'm letting him go, all for you, and you alone. Raise my hands at the thought of you leaving me alone."

-Pierce the Veil

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The air in the room was thick. My palms were sweaty and my checks were staining themselves with my tears. The room smelled like cigarette smoke, tears, an air of desperateness, hoping, and death. The uncomfortable sitting room chair was creaking with every slow rock I made. The emergency sign was a bright red and was making a mockery out of me. My eyesight started to get blurry as a fresh batch of tears came about. The glaring lights in my face was doing nothing but hurting my bloodshot eyes. I clutched my fists in desperate manner of despair. My heart was hurting, pounding, just like that very same day years ago.

_And I vouched to never feel it again._

I glanced around madly, searching for some reassurance that the patient held inside will make it out okay. They had to. I need them to. But the only thing I saw was the sobbing figure of Sue, slouched shoulders of Seth, Rachel crying out uncontrollably, and a little boy in her arms looking around curiously.

_I remembered the face of my dad and the quietness of my sisters_.

My heavyheart seemed to weigh a ton. My throat was stale. My nails dug deep in my palms that blood was drawing and closing. Nothing seemed to dull the ache in my chest. My hair was matted, my clothes bloodied, my mind in utter chaos. How could I have let this happen? What did I do wrong? Then the 'EMERGENCY' red lights dimmed and flickered off. I snapped my head up and waited impatiently for Carlisle to come out from the room. The double doors opened and out came four nurses and a withdrawn Carlisle. His eyes were no longer bright, but had dimmed with despair

_My father came to me and got down on his knees and took ahold of my hands. Tears streaming down his face. A face that never showed anything but happiness now held remorse. _

"I am so sorry, Jacob. I did everything in my power. She's... she's gone." Carlisle spoke tripping over his words.

_"Son, she's gone." My father spoke trembling all the while._

Gone...

_Gone..._

That unholy word. The word I hated so much with a passion. My heart pummeled. I lost sight of gravity. The four letter word held so much for me that I couldn't grip on to reality. I refused to believe that she was gone. She couldn't be. I loved her. My love for her was bulletproof. The room shattered. Everyone was whacked with sobs. Even the ever so tough Paul was crying. I shook my head. Not wanting to believe my love was gone taken away from me. At this very moment, it was if the past and present merged together in a melancholy symphony. I was no longer a man, but I was that five year old boy who was lost. Wanting his mother so he could tell her about his day.

_I saw my father, a man, a desperate man waiting for his wife, his best friend to come back to him. _

I stood up shakily. Running my bloodied fingers through my hair. "Let...let me see her...her body..." I mumbled incoherently to Carlisle, almost questioningly, stumbling over each word that left my dry mouth. It was taboo to refer to her as only a body. It was wrong, she was so much more than a body, but it was the only thing I could do.

I slowly made my way to her bed. I lifted a shaky hand to pull back the white sheet that covered her silhouette. I grasped one edge of the sheet and pulled it all the way back. Once I saw her beautiful face, I crumbled.

_I fought my father with everything I had to let me see her, all the while yelling, calling, "Mommy!"_

I dropped down on my knees and broke. I grasped her slender hand into my big one. I pressed my hot lips to her cold and decayed lips. I frowned slightly, not liking the coldness of her once hot lips. My tears falling on her bruised, bloodied, and pale face that was flowing unconsciously down my face. I gripped her hand even tighter, unwilling to let it go. Unwilling to let _her_ go. I rocked slightly while mumbling, "Leah... I'm sorry I couldn't protect you... please, I'm sorry..."

I dropped my head on her torso trying to inhale her scent, but the only thing I could smell was death. My voice dropped to an inaudible begging whisper, "Don't...don't leave...," my voice broke, "...me..."

I cried.

_And I cried._

Then the door opened with a creak. I didn't bother to acknowledge the person who came into the room. Preferring to hold on to her hand. I felt a small, stubby hand on my shoulder and I looked into _her_ eyes and cried harder. My body heaving. I felt hands snake around my torso, just barely covering my whole upper half.

"Daddy, don't cry..." Little Jacoby said.

_"J-ake, don't cry..." a seven year old Rachel, who herself had tears in her eyes, tried to console the weeping boy who lost his mother. She handed him a small handkerchief that had the initals S.B embroidered in the right hand corner. "it'll be okay..."_

"...It'll be okay..."

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**ENCORE **_noun:_

_call for repetition, item preformed in response to it_

_

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Author's Note: Here it is! :) I hope you all liked it! This has been buzzing in my head for a longgggg time. Also, I don't have a beta at the moment cause my last one, my best friend, bailed on me. So if you see errors, sorry.

Like I said before, this is my first in this fandom, and to be honest my first fic in like four months. :)

Thank you for reading. :)


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